One of the things that annoys me most in this world is biblical
literalism. It real bugs me, man. How can you take the King James
version of the New Testament (translated from the Latin, which was
translated from the Greek, translated from the Aramaic) look at the
four Gospels (four different versions of the same story written by men
who never met each other, let alone their subject) and say to
yourself, "gee, those were some interesting facts." Those aren't facts
- that's fan-fiction!! It's like looking at those Internet only novels
about Harry Potter and the Erogenous Zones and thinking they represent
JK Rowlings' original vision. It doesn't make sense! And that's just
the four Jesus-centric gospels. What about the others? Acts?! Romans?!
They're op-ed pieces!! A bunch of self-righteous goyhim spouting off
about the significance of a man's death they weren't alive to witness?
Oh, that sounds authoritative. I'm sorry, it pisses me off. I know a
lot of agnostics who'll counsel me to just let it go. People will
believe what people believe, etc. But dammit, I can't. Biblical
literalism goes against my core beliefs of what religion is for.
Religion isn't supposed to tell you about God. As a matter of fact,
that's one of the quickest ways to tell if a religion is full of sh*t
- how much they pretend to know what God is thinking. The minute a
person tries to tell you what god is up to, a little voice in your
head ought to chime, "bullsh*t!!!" How the hell do you know what God
is thinking? Been dead much lately? Didn't think so. You can't get
insight into the thinking of God. That's like my fingernail trying to
divine my godly intensions when in reality I'm just picking my ass.
The only thing religion is good for is helping us understand
ourselves. What is our relationship with God, or the universe or
whatever you want to call it. There's no divine purpose, there's no
divine plan. And at any rate if there was we wouldn't know it because
we're still stuck with these monkey bodies. So the best we can do is
try to transend our limitations, come up with some inherently
imperfect metaphors for the experience and hope beyond hope we're not
completely off the mark. Anyway, that's what I think, which, in
keeping with my own beliefs, doesn't count for sh*t.
